Relationship and love - from 'my spiritual odyssey' blog

Love - the illusive and elusive that apparently dangles in front of us, reachable at times yet mostly just out of reach. For it is when we first utter the word "I love you" be it verbally to another, or internally to ourselves that we called upon to ourselves suffering.
Why? The moment "I love you" is uttered, we worry if we'll hear it returned. If it is returned, we worry if we can keep it. If it is kept, we keep worrying if it will be lost or sizzle down one day.

And so... this has been the cycle of love that many human beings have gone through and through. Okay - that sounds so bleak, like I've been through love and given up on it.

Far from it. I'm merely observing a fact, and wondering if there's another 'love'. A love that is free, unconditional, empowering and uplifting.I believe the answer lies in this question. What's the purpose of relationship? Let's explore some of the common answers given :

1) To share my life with someone special. So if it is to share my life with someone -what is it within me that I have to share? Is it love, joy, contentment, peace, happiness, wisdom, maturity, generosity or do I carry resentment, anger, bitterness, unreasonableness, insecurity, fear. Okay - these are extreme negative conditions.What about a sense of lack? Many people including myself have gone into relationship because fear of loneliness.That may not be the initial reason... I was hopelessly, heads over heels in love once - but if I had stopped to reflect inward, a deeper reason was to put away my loneliness, to have that someone special in life. Whenever we get into a relationship hoping that the other person can cure our loneliness or give us happiness, contentment - we are bound to be disappointed as nobody can give us happiness and peace. Loneliness is self-created and can only be cured from within. Happiness and inner peace comes from within - not given by external factors, and certainly not another human. It is unfair for us to put such burden onto our beloved for they can never achieve that.

2) Some people believe that it is to find joy, happiness and peace in a relationship. To find implies that we don't have joy and happiness right now and we're trying to find it from another person. That means our beloved has to give us joy and happiness throughout the relationship.

We may argue that we're also giving the same thing - but the truth is - if we enter a relationship with a subconscious reason to find joy and happiness, it means we don't have it right now in our live. We cannot give what we don't have.

So then what's the purpose of relationship? - to procreate and start a family. If that's the only reason - I shudder to think of the sex life :)

Let me suggest that the purpose of relationship is to create love, joy, peace, happiness, contentment, truth, freedom, etc.
To create means I have those stuff now, and even if I don't have them, I can create them again, and in a relationship I can create it together my beloved, doubling even tripling the power. To create suggest a mutual act, one that will bond 2 people even deeper, or as a phrase I've heard, literally melts 2 person into 1. (not just physically la).

To create means I don't fear losing because we can always create more.It also means that a relationship will not curtail the freedom of a person to be who he/she really is, but rather encourage and create a journey of life that bonds 2 person to live out their dreams.