Death

Just watched the Japanese movie 'Departures' and it led me to think of the topic of death.

As a nurse, dying & death issues has never been a taboo topic for me and I never shy away from talking or discussing about it. I know that I sometimes make certain people uncomfortable when I do talk about it and sometimes I think they feel that I'm callous.

To me, death is a natural progress that everyone of us has to go through one day, of course the most ideal scenario is when one only encounter it when one grow old and die of aging.
Then again, everyone knows that it can happen anytime, anywhere, anyway, without notice. It's something that nobody has control over. So why the taboo? Is it due to fear of dying?

In the movie, whenever a person passed away, there's a mixtures of different feelings displayed by different people, there's sadness, peace, anguish, regret & guilt. Many a times, guilt & regret is very prominent, be it not treasuring or treating the dead person well or good enough when the person is alive, only to realise it when the person passed away; enlightened that whatever grudges or blame means nothing when the person dies, instead regretting never having the chance to reconcile the relationship when the person is alive.

Always remember, It's the living who will feel the emotions, those who passed on is at peace already. The living must learn to deal & cope with the feelings that arise when a loved one passed away. If those living treasure their love ones, never take anyone for granted, live life to the fullest, when anyone passed on, it can be dealt with positively and life can carry on with lesser regrets.

In a way, those who passed on 1st have it easier.

One of the lead character whose wife passed away before him said,

"One day, one of us will have to go 1st, it's hard to be the one that's left behind"

How true.

Its a story about a cellist (Daigo)who loses his job and must move back to his hometown. Once back there he reconnects with his past, and comes to terms with his life, love and dreams. Desperate to find a job, he answers an ad listed under departures, which turns out to be misspelled. It was supposed to say the departed, the job pertains to dressing, washing, and putting makeup on the deceased before the funeral. It is a job that most people look down upon because you earn money when someone dies. At first Daigo, does not like his job but little by little he comes to a new understanding of it. The process of prepping the corpse is shown in detail within the context of the story, and little by little we too as an audience get sucked in. it is an incredible ceremony to witness.

P/S: Great movie... breaking the taboo of death & draw the audiences to think abt death matters in a elegant way... cool.

Be true to myself

I just want to be true to myself and really be myself without having to worry about what others think of me.

I used to bend over backwards to accomodate to others, but as I grew older & through various experiences & life lessons, I have become more assertive and learn to say no to things that i'm uncomfortable with and I learnt that it's alright not to please everyone.

But does being assertive and caring more about myself makes me selfish or self-centered?

To a certain extend, I guess it's true.

Again i guess the best is to try to strike a balance.

Potent stuff that i read today

Will just like to post some stuff that i read today that's really hits me.

Here goes...

Accepting yourself

I found out who I am by looking at others. I am afraid of not being as good as they think I am, but I believe they all think this about themselves. During the time that I kept this diary, I finally accepted that I am brave enough to feel fear and to see myself without any artifices. I feel secure enough to feel insecure.

I discovered that people try to project a lot of their own insecurity onto you, just as you do with them. They try to diminish you because they feel small, try to intimidate you because they are not convinced that they are capable.

P/S: www.paulocoelhoblog.com

Quote of the day

'The main purpose of acquiring knowledge is to give it away.'

How cool is that =)

(What's the point of gaining so much knowledge, guarding it safetly? To bring to the grave? *faintz*)

A good leader is someone whose goal is to make themshelve dispensable, cos the leader trains everyone so well that without them around, the organisation still run smoothly.

(^.^)

character traits

Bernice, my colleague, was sharing with me about the different character traits of her 2 sons.

Oliver, the older one, is down to earth and honest, very easy to take care of him cos he always listens to instructions and behaves himself. He's also generous, always share his things and hardly throws tantrums.

Adam, the younger one, is more stubborn, streetwise, & knows how to judge ppl feelings & behave according. Btw, he's only 2 years old, in his child-like way, he already knows how to tug at a person's heartstring and most ppl can't help it but adores him. He's gonna be a lady-killer when he grow up.

It just led us to the discussion about nature Vs nurture. And both of us agreed that we are born with certain characteristics that generally cannot be change.

Which also highlight the point about accepting a person for what he/she are and not trying to change the person to the mould u want, which is a mistake that most ppl make, be it trying to mould yr partner into someone that he/she is not, or trying to make other ppl see yr point of view. If they see it, they will see it, there's no need for any complicated explanations, if they don't see it, it will be super hard for u to convince them, cos they just don't see it.

But I guess when emotions are involved, people just become irrational or over-compromising.

The proverb goes 'A leopard can't change it's spot'

which definition is, "ppl cannot change basic aspect of their character, especially negative ones."

But to be fair, there are ppl who change quite drastically, but this change usually happens after they encounter a life-changing experience. And such life-changing experiences happens only to a rare few.

So in conclusion, it's better to nurture & enhances a person's character based on their nature, then trying to change a person.

Just accept the person for who they are, cos that's the real deal. If you can't, just let the person go. Life will be more fulfilling =)

The everyday master

We always learn something different between dawn and dusk, why not write it down..

Hmm... i think i shall start doing this from tomorrow.