Sunday, March 29, 2009

successful people

Success is not define as making the most money,
it's rather those who have achieved satisfaction, joy, pride and contentment from their endeavors.

Success is about believing in yourself and trusting that if you are true to your inner voice, as well as listening to your mind, you will choose most wisely for yourself.

The people who have been courageous in this way have invariably ended up the happiest. As if they were having an important meeting with themshelves, they paused first to listen.

Monday, March 23, 2009

excerpt from the book timeshifting by Stephan Rechtschaffen

Time is not a measure: but rather a quality.
When we look at the past we are not rewinding a tape but remembering a gift of our passage on Earth.
Time is not measured like a road is measured, since we take gigantic leaps backwards (memories) and forwards (projects).

Managing is not living: “time is money” is nonsense.
We have to be aware of each moment and know how to take advantage of each single moment in what we are doing (with love) or in just contemplating life.
A day has 24 hours and an infinity of moments.
If we slow down, everything will last much longer. Of course, washing the dishes can take longer too, but why not use that time to think about pleasant things, singing, relaxing, being happy at just being alive?

In tune with life: Arthur Rubinstein (one of the greatest pianists of the 20th century) was once approached by an ardent admirer, who asked him: “How can you use the notes with such mastery?”
The pianist answered: “I use the notes the same way that others do, but the pauses … ah! That’s where the art lies.”

My divorce process was extremely painful and I thought that by keeping busy I would manage to get over the difficult moments, but it did not work out as foreseen because I could not see the pain in my soul.

As of a certain moment I began to “use the pauses” – sit down, let the pain come and reach me and then pass. Little by little I re-structured my life and understood better the reasons for the separation. Today my ex-wife works with me in the Omega Institute – because I was able to face pain, not just hide it behind my work.

p/s: sounds interesting.. gonna go borrowed the book, will keep u all updated.

From Kumar

'You have to find peace within yourself before you can go out and find happiness.
Happiness is the only thing you cannot buy.'

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Daily master

Ha... there are times when I go for my quick toilet break at work that I'm struck with tots while doing the er-hem 'toilet business'... today is one such day ;p

Something that I have read last time & was reminded of recently just appeared in my head.

All of us born in a developed & comfortable country has forgotten how to enjoy simple pleasures in life that's so important.

Especially in such a safe & properous Singapore, we are given so much things & lead such comfortable life that we started to take things for granted, that nothing satisfied us and we just want more & more & more!

Come to think of it, it's quite perverse & pathetic. We have so much and we are not happy with what we have, in fact alot of people become unhappy because they feel they do not have enough!
No wonder 3rd world country ppl hates us. I don't like it too therefore i shall be mindful of this.


Every new day is a gift for us to learn new things. I learnt not to complain unnecessarily and to treasure what I have.


I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by many like-minded friends who understand what i'm saying and i'm really glad to have them by my side. Seeing them give me hope that our society will not become too materialistic :)

To quote Ajahn Brahm, " In order to relish and know life in its fullness, we should often savour one moment at a time in silence. Then we might get our money's worth in the five-star resturant called life."



Monday, March 16, 2009

Pointers to remember =)

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, t heir conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN ... When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Relationship and love - from 'my spiritual odyssey' blog

Love - the illusive and elusive that apparently dangles in front of us, reachable at times yet mostly just out of reach. For it is when we first utter the word "I love you" be it verbally to another, or internally to ourselves that we called upon to ourselves suffering.
Why? The moment "I love you" is uttered, we worry if we'll hear it returned. If it is returned, we worry if we can keep it. If it is kept, we keep worrying if it will be lost or sizzle down one day.

And so... this has been the cycle of love that many human beings have gone through and through. Okay - that sounds so bleak, like I've been through love and given up on it.

Far from it. I'm merely observing a fact, and wondering if there's another 'love'. A love that is free, unconditional, empowering and uplifting.I believe the answer lies in this question. What's the purpose of relationship? Let's explore some of the common answers given :

1) To share my life with someone special. So if it is to share my life with someone -what is it within me that I have to share? Is it love, joy, contentment, peace, happiness, wisdom, maturity, generosity or do I carry resentment, anger, bitterness, unreasonableness, insecurity, fear. Okay - these are extreme negative conditions.What about a sense of lack? Many people including myself have gone into relationship because fear of loneliness.That may not be the initial reason... I was hopelessly, heads over heels in love once - but if I had stopped to reflect inward, a deeper reason was to put away my loneliness, to have that someone special in life. Whenever we get into a relationship hoping that the other person can cure our loneliness or give us happiness, contentment - we are bound to be disappointed as nobody can give us happiness and peace. Loneliness is self-created and can only be cured from within. Happiness and inner peace comes from within - not given by external factors, and certainly not another human. It is unfair for us to put such burden onto our beloved for they can never achieve that.

2) Some people believe that it is to find joy, happiness and peace in a relationship. To find implies that we don't have joy and happiness right now and we're trying to find it from another person. That means our beloved has to give us joy and happiness throughout the relationship.

We may argue that we're also giving the same thing - but the truth is - if we enter a relationship with a subconscious reason to find joy and happiness, it means we don't have it right now in our live. We cannot give what we don't have.

So then what's the purpose of relationship? - to procreate and start a family. If that's the only reason - I shudder to think of the sex life :)

Let me suggest that the purpose of relationship is to create love, joy, peace, happiness, contentment, truth, freedom, etc.
To create means I have those stuff now, and even if I don't have them, I can create them again, and in a relationship I can create it together my beloved, doubling even tripling the power. To create suggest a mutual act, one that will bond 2 people even deeper, or as a phrase I've heard, literally melts 2 person into 1. (not just physically la).

To create means I don't fear losing because we can always create more.It also means that a relationship will not curtail the freedom of a person to be who he/she really is, but rather encourage and create a journey of life that bonds 2 person to live out their dreams.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Death

Just watched the Japanese movie 'Departures' and it led me to think of the topic of death.

As a nurse, dying & death issues has never been a taboo topic for me and I never shy away from talking or discussing about it. I know that I sometimes make certain people uncomfortable when I do talk about it and sometimes I think they feel that I'm callous.

To me, death is a natural progress that everyone of us has to go through one day, of course the most ideal scenario is when one only encounter it when one grow old and die of aging.
Then again, everyone knows that it can happen anytime, anywhere, anyway, without notice. It's something that nobody has control over. So why the taboo? Is it due to fear of dying?

In the movie, whenever a person passed away, there's a mixtures of different feelings displayed by different people, there's sadness, peace, anguish, regret & guilt. Many a times, guilt & regret is very prominent, be it not treasuring or treating the dead person well or good enough when the person is alive, only to realise it when the person passed away; enlightened that whatever grudges or blame means nothing when the person dies, instead regretting never having the chance to reconcile the relationship when the person is alive.

Always remember, It's the living who will feel the emotions, those who passed on is at peace already. The living must learn to deal & cope with the feelings that arise when a loved one passed away. If those living treasure their love ones, never take anyone for granted, live life to the fullest, when anyone passed on, it can be dealt with positively and life can carry on with lesser regrets.

In a way, those who passed on 1st have it easier.

One of the lead character whose wife passed away before him said,

"One day, one of us will have to go 1st, it's hard to be the one that's left behind"

How true.



Its a story about a cellist (Daigo)who loses his job and must move back to his hometown. Once back there he reconnects with his past, and comes to terms with his life, love and dreams. Desperate to find a job, he answers an ad listed under departures, which turns out to be misspelled. It was supposed to say the departed, the job pertains to dressing, washing, and putting makeup on the deceased before the funeral. It is a job that most people look down upon because you earn money when someone dies. At first Daigo, does not like his job but little by little he comes to a new understanding of it. The process of prepping the corpse is shown in detail within the context of the story, and little by little we too as an audience get sucked in. it is an incredible ceremony to witness.
P/S: Great movie... breaking the taboo of death & draw the audiences to think abt death matters in a elegant way... cool.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Be true to myself

I just want to be true to myself and really be myself without having to worry about what others think of me.

I used to bend over backwards to accomodate to others, but as I grew older & through various experiences & life lessons, I have become more assertive and learn to say no to things that i'm uncomfortable with and I learnt that it's alright not to please everyone.

But does being assertive and caring more about myself makes me selfish or self-centered?

To a certain extend, I guess it's true.

Again i guess the best is to try to strike a balance.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Potent stuff that i read today

Will just like to post some stuff that i read today that's really hits me.

Here goes...

Accepting yourself

I found out who I am by looking at others. I am afraid of not being as good as they think I am, but I believe they all think this about themselves. During the time that I kept this diary, I finally accepted that I am brave enough to feel fear and to see myself without any artifices. I feel secure enough to feel insecure.

I discovered that people try to project a lot of their own insecurity onto you, just as you do with them. They try to diminish you because they feel small, try to intimidate you because they are not convinced that they are capable.

P/S: www.paulocoelhoblog.com

Quote of the day

'The main purpose of acquiring knowledge is to give it away.'

How cool is that =)

(What's the point of gaining so much knowledge, guarding it safetly? To bring to the grave? *faintz*)

A good leader is someone whose goal is to make themshelve dispensable, cos the leader trains everyone so well that without them around, the organisation still run smoothly.

(^.^)

character traits

Bernice, my colleague, was sharing with me about the different character traits of her 2 sons.

Oliver, the older one, is down to earth and honest, very easy to take care of him cos he always listens to instructions and behaves himself. He's also generous, always share his things and hardly throws tantrums.

Adam, the younger one, is more stubborn, streetwise, & knows how to judge ppl feelings & behave according. Btw, he's only 2 years old, in his child-like way, he already knows how to tug at a person's heartstring and most ppl can't help it but adores him. He's gonna be a lady-killer when he grow up.

It just led us to the discussion about nature Vs nurture. And both of us agreed that we are born with certain characteristics that generally cannot be change.

Which also highlight the point about accepting a person for what he/she are and not trying to change the person to the mould u want, which is a mistake that most ppl make, be it trying to mould yr partner into someone that he/she is not, or trying to make other ppl see yr point of view. If they see it, they will see it, there's no need for any complicated explanations, if they don't see it, it will be super hard for u to convince them, cos they just don't see it.

But I guess when emotions are involved, people just become irrational or over-compromising.

The proverb goes 'A leopard can't change it's spot'

which definition is, "ppl cannot change basic aspect of their character, especially negative ones."

But to be fair, there are ppl who change quite drastically, but this change usually happens after they encounter a life-changing experience. And such life-changing experiences happens only to a rare few.

So in conclusion, it's better to nurture & enhances a person's character based on their nature, then trying to change a person.

Just accept the person for who they are, cos that's the real deal. If you can't, just let the person go. Life will be more fulfilling =)


Monday, March 9, 2009

The everyday master

We always learn something different between dawn and dusk, why not write it down..

Hmm... i think i shall start doing this from tomorrow.